reflections
The future leaders of Singapore.
Disclaimer: Half of everything i say in this post is exaggerated.
A old and wise man once said:" If you, the newbie teacher in ******* primary school. Can master the art of catching little p3 monsters' attention for more than 5 seconds, you would have mastered all levels of teaching..." True enough, i believe. However, i must of course...start by getting their attention in the first place, if im gna try to last 5 seconds..... I see 400 little monsters a week, each, asking me 10 questions a lesson, ranging from stupid questions..to hilarious questions. That makes 4000 questions answered a week. BEAT THAT!! U MCQ NERD FREAKS!! I bet ur TYS doesn't even have 4000 questions, let alone a week. hehehe...
This is a rich school, a school of rich parents, and a school where monsters grow up to be rich. The facilities are astounding, everything is bigger, shiny and newer than my JC. Even in the fish pond, the koi's look more alive. Once in a while when i walk out of my JC i see the pond has some fish swimming reallly close to the surface with their tummies facing the sun, permanently sun bathing. Compared to my primary school, the largest difference i observe is...the way the kids come to school. Where i came from, parents came in umbrellas, here? Mercedes bens 7 series. When lesson starts, you see parents, mostly the taitais waiting outside "oberseving". During recess, the kids are brought premium food from outside and don't eat in the canteen because :" I dont' want my child to be consuming processed food" A list of facilities i totally didn't expect, A chess-playing area, A gaming room with consoles, A toliet staircase and......a cheap, lousy and broken piano?!?!?
For this paragraph, i shall call the little monsters little kings and queens. The boys are terrible, they think he rule the world:" KEEP QUIET!!!! SIT DOWN!!! LOOK IN FRONT!!! DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING!!! OR ELSE I CONFISCATE", boy A: my mommy can always buy another 100 more for me. 0.0 The girls are better, they're cute and friendly. the only problem with the girls is, "Mr tan, whats a screwdriver? ohhhhh this is a screw driver!!! cool!!! ive never used one before!!" So basically i have to teach the basics, seriously the basics, each student is given a box of tools and parts to put together. "class! this is a screw driver....woooooooo...this is how you hold a screw driver......wowwwwww......to screw it in...you turn it clockwise......woahhhhhhhhh", okay try to screw your robot tight now. (the class tries, and one tells me that its spoilt not working...soon another...and another...and almost the whole class tells me their screwdriver is spoilt) I was alittle puzzled until i realised the problem. "CLASS! STOP! in order to screw the screwdriver...you first need to put in ...THE SCREW!!!!" duhhh....see all working already. There also other problems like teaching them how to use a double sided tape etc etc, and the interesting part is that they havent even opened their box yet LOL.
Hey, all of you.! slams the table* I am extremely frustrated with your attitudes, i don't care whether you are king of your house or how much money your mommy and daddy give you, you are now in school and you must follow school rules, and of course listen to the teacher! Now i wanted to give them some inspiration so i asked afew of them what they would like to be when they grow up. One boy said he wanted to be an engineer, i passed to him the screwdriver and said that he will succeed one day, he takes the tip of the screwdriver and tried to put the handle into the hole. When i saw, i went back to him and whispered into his ear:" Maybe you should be a businessman.."
The canteen wasn't too bad, but to get better food, u gotta learn the technique. And my training didn't teach me that. On the first day i decided to go with something safe, noodles cause, how bad can they be?. I stepped into the canteen, to see a army of chaos...mess...and noise pollution. After avoiding all dangers and conquering the obstacle course, i joined the what seemed like 4D hong pao lucky draw queue. Nonetheless the service was quick, each bowl of fishball noodles cost 50 cents but each bowl had the quantity of one of my mouthful so i asked for bigger portion. The vendor took a bigger bowl, and poured the contents of 4 other small bowls into it. So there were 4 fishballs in it, plus noodles. =.=...i was about to pay 2 dollars when i saw PRAWN MEE signed on the top of the counter, TODAY'S SPECIAL. So i asked for prawn mee, the vendor removed the 4 fish balls and replaced them with 4 half-prawns....today is really special...
Ahhh end of the first month of terror, i got my pay check yesterday. Saved them all and bought my family a treat for reunion dinner. My parents, being parents..got all excited about their son getting his FIRST PAY CHECK, they took alot of pictures and all that but yea, no big deal to me. Im not a fan of money, i don't spend. Im not in need of anything. That evening i went to Novena POSB bank to deposite the check. Where i learnt of the quick check deposite section, how convienient. Just write your bank acc number and drop it into the slot. Now heres the strange part, beside that quick check deposit box theres a dustbin, a sleek, shiny well designed dustbin. It fitted nicely into the wall, looks like part of the machine. On it, was written :" Dear customers, this is a dustbin." WHAT?!? ohyea do you need to tell me? maybe you the wall should say dear customers this is a wall as well LOL. Well i was laughing to myself until i saw the next person use it, then i completely...COMPLETELY understood what it meant. It was a middle aged, housewife, curly hair, plump and blur looking woman. She held in her right hand a check, and went over to the machine, scanned it and wrote her bank acc number behind, next thing she did was put the check into the dustbin. Yup thats right, the dustbin. Perhaps they should make the words bigger.
That day at the gym was pretty amuzing, well it wasn't the gym literally it was in the locker room. There was no body there. There were about 100 lockers or so, all in two rows with the benches in the middle. I just finished my training regime and took a refreshing bath, just sitting there relaxing, when something magical happened. A FAERIE APPEARED! lol jkin no la. Ok this is what happened. When people come in and change they put their handphones and wallets into the locker, and lock and leave, WITHOUT PUTTING TO SLIENT MODE. Ok so when i was sitting there...i started to hear some vibration sounds and some music..then another..with lyrics..and another...of another instrument....and before long....the locker room became an orchestra!! lala~ hilarious.
My dad came back from a conference. He brought some free gifts back, one of them being a very powerful binoculars. Seriously i could see what all my neighbours were doing....though i don't look lol, i can but i don't i respect privacy, because i dont' get it all the time. anyway, i was thinking aloud :" we are gna keep this somewhere and collect dust" My mom was quick to defer: No, this is very useful!! even more useful indoors than outdoors!" i was like har? but she elaborated. This binoculars.....can help us...save alot alot of money.....its very useful......in....CONCERTS!!! Next time we go esplanade watch shows just buy the cheapest seats and bring this along hehehehe. Now this reminds me, back in the JC days we used to sit rightttt at the back of the lecture theatre, not because we thought it was COOL but we were ASSIGNED there, hate it, cannot see anything, not because of our eyes, but its the projector.....its old...blurry...and cranky, just like the teachers WHO REFUSE TO EXPAND THE WORDS because they like to squeeze as much info into one page as possible. We kept complaining but to no avail. Until one point someone brought a binoculars to college and one person see and read out the rest copy. Funny, binoculars in lecture theatre. SO i guess next time we need a telescope to see jay chou in singapore indoor stadium.
Lame comment of the day: Pour Lee Pee Pearl = poly ppl hehehehehe...
Btw if you guys havent seen this you BETTER WATCH IT NOW(pause the music playing up there). Or else.....I KILL U! =)
~datahush vi britannia commands..
7:42 PM
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