reflections
urushi wa nai, watashimo..
i realised the reason for my moody behaviour. My levels of Tryptophan are extremely low i guess. A trade off between healthy skin(ironic) and happiness. Tryptophan is a chemical orginated from caoco(chocolate), upon consumption it makes you have feelings to ecstasy, not literally but makes you high, in other words happy. I notice whenever i eat 2 bars of chocolate, almost afew hours later i would be rid of all my sorrow and distress, my tongue rattles off sentences after sentences of broken phrases which don't make sense, but im happy. A day later i look into the mirror and stares in horror. What sort of a deal is that. Total absteinence from dairy products is a courageous yet trival task that only the strongest will can take on, even i fail at such as mission.
Brain drain for double timed practices in a day, both GP, the unsuccessful attempts added weights to my feet. As i trodded down the 6 flights of steps from level 3 auditorium, i saw them ...again...together....going for dinner. The fishiness of such scandolous activities sparked my gossip hormones to get to work, 主席 and 舒记者, the almost cliche yet factual pairing in any student/adult organisation, in this case CCA could be classified as BGR haven where those whom graduate from bachelor/bachelorette's club abandon all posts and severe almost all knots with aquantainces, busily engaged in their activities on the 7th cloud. Not that i care but this is a special case, it involves two of my relatively closer friends(not sure if im in their inner circle) and alittle more. If this was sparked by genuine mutual natural feelings den by all means..my hands are clean. But my concern is if this was influenced, intiated, subconciously pushed into an illusion to escape certain undesired feelings. I don't want her to be hurt, of all things. I want him to pick someone and stick and not change on a periodic basis based on emotional impulses. Not that i doubt the standards of any of these clients, but i doubt their clouded decision making incompetence. If she had to be with someone, id rather him. President, please don't hurt her.
While i have my own story to tell, its probably more complex and deep from my position of viewpoint. Who would ever say they're involved in a trival relationship? Honestly speaking im not involved. for the following possible reasons, are not a list of reasons, they are simply jus possible reason of which i am not sure of myself, please enlighten oh wise readers. 1. I basically do not feel for anyone. 2. I have low self esteem, due to obvious reasons. 3. I have bad memorises which i do not want to relive. 4. I subconciously like someone whom hates me, i wonder who=.= 5. i am extremely picky and lousy that i can't find the right one, and nobody wants me. Talk abt shortage of points.. I saw her today, one of the rare occasions i sit in the same lecture hall as my nemesis. Without a clue what she is thinking, whether she thinks at all and what she feels, i wonder why i even bother. I know nothing of her, i know she probably likes someone, i know shes a b**** ok thats alittle harsh shes quite nice actually. Yet i constantly involve myself in her affairs. Oh mighty readers please enlighten me.
$4.50 for a bowl of Ba Cho Mee at S11 was a bargain. Add noodle Add meat, and of course add money. Excellent soup, Anyone can cook, gusteau says. Not me, not many girls, i like a girl who can cook, ITS DAMM COOL. I mean how many people our age here can cook man, i mean beyond maggi mee, real genuine meals. Most girls now can only complain abt lack of good quality guys and spend money, what ignorance. How do u know all guys are bad if u haven gone beyond ur useless male class counterparts and interacted with others. And im not refering to myself, im talking abt those whom u see and make unsupported negative claims which are spread through ur gossip networks. Well for a start they do not have severe acne condition. ARGH the frustration..
Ive failed!! my match making services has failed!! Looks like our 4 year classmate has finally escaped the kelly deathtrap, and ventured into a new, average,cute, younger pit hole, refusing to entertain an admirer, a client of mine whom has loved him since the beginning of sec sch. 3 failed attempts to ask a guy for a date, how much more embarassing can that be for a girl. i Completely understand the feelings of a broken heart, and an extended one, for it is merely appearing at the other side of MY mirror. Oh well, what to do..time to call RL..woohoo.
Lame comment of the day: Non-mihi-got-life = non-mihi-trying-to-have-life...but fails
It can't get any better
~datahush vi britannia commands..
9:21 PM
past memories
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Thanks to : blossom, bouncy-bubbles for the images! :D
