reflections
Minna, oyasuminasai
Of all people i do not want anyone to read my blog or my sister's and cousins blogs, are my parents. How would you feel if your parents read your blogs? its kinda like reading ur diary. Ive had two diaries before, first one was read by them and they actually corrected my english, my unsincere gratitutes to them. the other was less vivid, but still a case of infringement of privacy. well that was in pri sch. but the problems are only bigger as i was growing. I won't be surprised if they're actually reading it now, actually its only my dad. When my dad told me he actually read my sis blog, i played along and laughed, but im actually on my sister's side, im always on my sister's side although i may not pose as though i am just. Inside me was burning hatred, my sister has her own privacy that she prefers only to be seen by her friends and not her parents, or my parents. Not even i read her blog, as tempted as i am. When my dad said, "don't tell your sister i read or she won't like it", but as a "fortunate child with well educated parents who are genuinely concerned about their children" won't the parent stop reading if he or she already knows the child won't be happy if its read? We choose what we want to say or when we want to confide in them for certain things, but i still think its wrong for them to spy on us like that. Emotions aside just incase they're reading, even if they're not, its jus a matter of time. my dad has his sources, im not sure how much time and effort or even money he puts into spying on us. In sec sch im fully aware of call/sms tapping on my hp. don't call me paranoid but i have my reasons. Talk about being lucky kids.
ON THE OTHER HAND, i will attempt to give a balanced opinion. If i am my parents, that sounded kranky, i would also be temepted to spy on my kids, either purely out of concern, or love. Furthurmore, i really feel lucky to have such parents whom i can consult and ask for advise in many aspects, except the part on social life. Surely i would not have gained such knowledge of money and the world if i had different parents, they also gave me many chances to learn skills, important skills that may sound trival to you but still important in life, like swimming, rollerblading, music, martial arts, which an average kid would not. Of course there are also other good stuff but my focus here is not thanking them. but i want to "indirectly" tell them(if they are reading) to stop, reading our blogs, and our cousins blogs.
You know, when i hear of my friends family lives at home, and when i go to my friend's homes, i find the atmosphere extremely different, warmer, more sincere, true family time. Ours always has a certain degree of formality and suspicion, they always tell us to tell them their problems, but how about this "You already know all about them, check your spy sources". Ironic isn't it? u know i guess our blogs is our ONLY avenue to serious voice ourselves indirectly to our parents. i went to a female friend's home once, female friend, FRIEND ONLY, and when she entered home, she hugged her dad, and her dad jokingly said new boyfriend huh. i was stunned, not cause of their actions but more because ive never seen that in our home before. It is virtually impossible to consult our parents in anything personal, they hardly listen to our feelings and jus go on telling us what to do and what is right and what we must do because this is the REAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLDREAL WORLD. Yes, i fully understand i respect their words, i have trust that what they say is true and i fully believe them. But it'd be nice if they can stop and jus listen to what we have to say and understand how we feel at that point in time whether it may seem trival or silly to them. Perhaps this could start a real family relationship?
I must confess that i am a filial child. Most of the time, Paiseh takes over, and i don't express my feelings at home. I will take care of my parents in future, and try my best to give them allowances that they have been demanding for 17years already, HAHA. ok the demanding part is a joke. and i love my sister, and i will protect and help her whenever possible. But im mean to her on purpose for reasons i believe are valid, i do not want her to depend on me, at ALL, i wan her to be independant, what u call a zai girl, but it seems it will take quite some more time....i do not show these things at home, due to Paisehness, adam khoo personally told me not to be paiseh but i ignored him. i tink the person im closest to at home is my dog. Tinkle. whenever i have family, bgr, or any sort of problems, i can only trust tinkle. believe it or not she understands, parents are jus a hindrance especially when they're they source, im past the age when i tink im always right, because i know my parents are "righter". I guess maturity takes time.
SUmmary of my points: Parents , please stop reading and let this be the last post if u are reading at all, please start listening and understanding, In time to come, when trust on both sides is gained, hopefully, hopefully, we can talk.
Ofcourse, i take into account the minute possibility that i am purely paranoid, and all this is just my personaly dilemma. But on the other hand, there is also a chance that it has already gone overboard, and our parents know more than what we tink they know and spying actually goes beyond technology(PI OR SMTH), but what i do know is that, my doubts and feelings at home are true and factual. its late at night and i am not able to fully express what i exactly want to say, but this is jus what i feel, at this point in time, and may change in future, as my level of maturity may cloud my currentl views and vision.
work count : Gp->essay
Lame comment of the day: Sentence a suicide criminal to death
~datahush vi britannia commands..
10:19 PM
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